Harry Potter and Candy Mountain
by LumpyKing-BowDownToMe
Summary: Ginny and Luna want to take Harry to Candymountain. Based extremely off the video, Charlie : Candy Mountain from YouTube. My first fic, but with help from my sister 'CaramelBoost'. Parody of HP and C:CM.


**Harry Potter and Candy Mountain**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor do I own Charlie : Candymountain (off YouTube).**

* * *

It was in the middle of the afternoon, just after lunch, as Harry was lying on the Quidditch pitch, staring at the clouds. Just as he was falling asleep, Ginny and Luna came up to him and said, in an entirely creepy voice, "Heeey, Harry! Hey Harry, wake up!"

"Yea, Harry!" Luna chimed in, "You silly sleepy head, wake up!"

Harry groaned and rolled over, "Ugh, guys, what is it? This had better be pretty freaking important. Is Snape on fire?"

Ginny laughed, shaking her head, "No, Harry, we've found a map!"

"A map to Candy Mountain!" Luna finished. "Candy Mountain, Harry!"

"Yea, Harry, we're going to Candy Mountain!"

"Come with us, Harry!" Luna grinned, much like a cheschire cat.

Soon, Ginny grinned too. "Yea, Harry. It'll be an adventure! We're going on an adventure, Harry!"

The Boy-Who-Lived turned over in the grass, "Ugh, yea, Candy Mountain... I'm just going to, you know, go back to sleep now." But was woken up as Ginny started bouncing on him excitedly, pounding his head, over and over again, into the grass.

"No, Harry! You have to come with us! You have to come with us to Candy Mountain!"

"Yea, Harry, Candy Mountain! It's the land of sweets, and joy... and joy-ness!" Luna paused a moment before adding, "And Nargles!"

Harry groaned and attempted to push Ginny off him, failing miserably, "Please stop bouncing on me!"

"Candy Mountain, Harry!"

"Yea, Candy Mountain!"

Giving up, Harry groused, "Alright, fine! I'll go with you to Candy Mountain!"

Luna and Ginny laugh hysterically, before setting off into the forest, where Harry has no choice but to follow them.

**-x-x-x-**

"La la la, la la la." The ecstatic pair sang, leaving a miserable Harry trailing in their wake.

"Alright! Enough with the singing, already!" Now thoroughly annoyed with the whole affair, Harry glared at them.

They merely laughed, and Ginny said, "Our first stop is over there, Harry!"

The three entered a giant clearing, the center of which held a giant beast. "Oh Merlin, what is THAT?!"

"It's a Blast-Ended Skrewt, Harry!" Ginny sang.

"Yea, a MAGICAL Blast-Ended Skrewt!"

"It's gonna guide our way to Candy Mountain!"

Harry shook his head, getting increasingly frustrated with the whole thing. "Alright, guys, you DO know that there's no such thing as Candy Mountain, right?"

Ginny laughed, looking at Harry with amusement in her eyes, "Shun the non-believer!"

"Shun! Shuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuunn!" Luna sang, agreeing with her friend.

"Shuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuunnaa!"

Shaking his head harder, Harry closed his eyes and attempted to count to ten in his mind. "Yea."

Suddenly, the 'magical' Blast-Ended Skrewt shrieked, filling the whole clearing with an unnatural sound. Putting his hands over his ears to stifle the sound, Harry squinted at the other two, who appeared to be unaffected and.. er.. listening to the shriek?

"It has spoken!" Luna said, gleefull.

"It has told us the way to Candy Mountain!" Ginny laughed, flailing her arms dramatically."It has told us the waaaayy!"

Harry let out a low moan of frustration, "It hasn't said ANYTHING!"

**-x-x-x-**

The three somehow managed to find themselves on a very old, rickety bridge, suspended high above the valley below.

"It's just over this bridge, Harry!" Ginny smiled, her firey red hair flying in the wind.

"This is a magical bridge!" Luna cried, "Of hope and wonder!"

Harry ignored them both, "Is anyone else, like, getting covered in splinters? C'mon you guys, we shouldn't be on this thing!"

Ginny looked back at him from her position in the lead, grinning maniacly, "Harry! Haaarry! Haaaaarrrrrrrryyy! HHHAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRYYYYY!"

Saying nothing, Harry glared at her as she stared at him.

"HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRYYYYY!!"

Giving up, Harry moaned, "I'm right here! What do you want??"

Laughing loudly, she screamed, over the wind, "We're on a bridge, Harry!" And he suddenly began wondering if they were being _Imperius_ed into this by some Death Eater.

**-x-x-x-**

Once off the bridge, the three continued down a dirt road, with Harry, surprisingly, stomping in the lead, apparently quite eager to get this whole day over with.

"We're here!" Luna shrieked, in the same creepy manner that she and Ginny had been speaking in the whole time.

Harry finally had to concede to defeat. There, standing before them, was a large mound of candy with a cave in the center and a giant sign that read, "CANDY MOUNTAIN" in curly handwriting. "Well what do you know, there is a Candy Mountain!"

Luna laughed, clapping her hands excitedly, "Candy Mountain!" She sang, "Candy Mountain! You fill me with sweeeet, sugary goodness!"

"Go inside the Candy Mountain Candy Cave, Harry!" Ginny suddenly cut in.

"Yea, Harry, go inside the cave! Witness the magical wonders that behold once you enter!"

Harry shook his head, not liking where this was going at all. "Thanks, but no thanks, guys. I think I'm going to stay out here."

"But you HAVE to go inside the Candy Mountain Candy Cave, Harry!" Luna exclaimed, horrified.

Randomly, little men burst from the top of Candy Mountain and began to dance along to the music that had also randomly begun to play.

"Oh, when you're down and looking for some cheer-ing up, just head right on up, to the Candy Mountain Cave." It sang, twirling up the cave.

Vaguely, Harry noticed that the little men were, in fact, little red letters with giant eyes and scrawny limbs. Like mutated house-elves, which was, in itsself, quite scary.

The little letter-thing continued, "When you get inside you'll find yourself a little chee-ry land, such a happy and joyful, perky, merry place."

But it did not stop there.

"They've got lollipops," here a picture of said candy appeared, "and gummy drops," another picture, "and candy things! Oh so many things that will brighten up your day."

'Oh, I just bet you do,' Harry thought, sourly.

"It's impossible to wear a frown in Candy town!" The thing sang, not knowing what Harry was thinking.

'Wanna bet?' He thought again, glaring at the odd little creature.

"It's the Mecca of love at Candy cave!" And just when Harry thought that it was finally over, and had begun to celebrate in his mind, it continued:

"They've got jellybeans," Another picture appeared above Harry's head, but he hadn't paid it any mind as Ginny and Luna had begun to float, each wearing identically grins of bliss.

But the song went on.

"And coconuts, with lit-tle hats! Candy mats, chocolate vats; it's a wonderland of sweets! Try the candy, try the town, and be a can-dy fan. Candy bells; it's a treat, as they march across the land."

To Harry, it seemed as though the singing was getting louder.

"Cherry ribbons stream across the sky in-to the ground! Turn around,it ASTOUNDS; it's the dancing Candy treat!In the Candy cave, imagination runs so free!"

And with a final bang, the creature concluding, still singing, "So now Harry won't you please go in-to the cave?" With a final spurt, the creature jumped into it's fellow creatures and the all exploded.

Harry blinked; what? "Alright, fine! I'll go into the freakin' Candy cave!" And walked, grudgingly, into the cave. "This had better be good!"

From outside, Luna and Ginny laughed, creepy, but enthusiastically. "Haha, Good-bye, Harry!"

"Yea, good-bye, Harry!"

He turned, "Good-bye? What?" Just as door slammed shut and darkness enveloped. Softly, he heard the sound of footsteps and called out, "Who's there?"

"Stupify!" And Harry's world went black.

**-x-x-x-**

Harry woke up to find himself on the Quidditch pitch again, and groggily sat up, pain racing through his side.

"Ugh," He clutched his head, "What happened?" He glanced down at his ribs, where it was heavily bandaged.

"GAH! THEY TOOK MY FREAKIN' KIDNEY!"

* * *

**I had lots of help with this from my sister, CaramelBoost on this. Again, I do not own "Charlie : Candymountain".. it's just this really funny video off of YouTube. I hope you like it.**

**This is my first fic, so can you please leave me a review and tell me how I did? Thank you. :)**

**-LK-**


End file.
